Don't you like me in this light
by Cryselephantine
Summary: "May I say, how refreshing it is to finally see you in a video with your clothes on, sir." JARVIS, Iron Man 2 What about 'em sex tapes? And what about a certain cap googling "Tony Stark" and "video tape". (caution, may contain balls, I mean nuts... I mean...GAY... I MEAN... ugh I give up) STONYYYYYYYY...orsomething.


Ukelx and Riney bribed me with arts and hot chocolate. They showed this to me, told me Steve was watching it and let the Goblins in my mind run with it... |B

* * *

Steve was beginning to think that he'd slipped into a shellshock coma somehow even though his eyes continued to stay riveted on the video in front of him. He couldn't even remember what in particular had had him painstakingly surfing the internet at 0300 but he thought it had something to do with a passing comment Clint had made as a joke toward Stark. Something about being in the limelight a bit too much. But the way he'd said it alluded to something that had been just out of his reach so he'd decided to do some digging.

He had to smother the instinctual whimper at his own thoughts, his hands gripping his jeans in a white-knuckles grip as he stared at the glorious sight of Tony Stark's broad chest and languid pectorals rising and dropping, his skin damp with sweat and his eyes half-hooded as some nameless woman who's only body parts present in the video were her breasts and down, moaned in exctasy. The woman was riding him hard and fast and Stark seemed to be giving as good as he got, but while she kept a steady litany of increasingly worse vulgarities, Tony seemed to content to just smile impishly up at the eye of the camera that she was most likely holding up in her hand and letting his hands and sometimes mouth wander to the smooth planes of her stomach and the curve of her breasts.

But Steve's eyes kept trailing back from her forms to Stark's languid grin and the hollow of his hipbones as they stuttered into the woman.

Suddenly, the video camera was turned toward the woman's face, she was a beautiful woman that was certain, all lush lips and iridant eyes, but Steve couldn't help the twinge of regret as she didn't turn it back to Stark but said something in what sounded like Polish before the video turned black.

The American icon didn't know how to feel as his eyes continued to stare into the darkened screen. The blood that had rushed to his face in the first few minutes of the video had soon travelled south and it felt excruciatingly tight, in his blue jeans. Before the thought had really even entered his conscious mind, he startled as the video started up again, his hand having unclenched from his jeans and rapidly clicked on the video link again and his mind sort of blanked again as he rewatched it silently, oddly hypnotised.

* * *

"_Sir, it seems that a Code Lime was triggered 28.4 minutes ago_."

Tony raised his head from where it was, deep in the gut of one of his cars, black smear on his cheek and his hair sticking in every direction. The billionaire let his eyebrows raise to his forehead before an amused if slightly indignant smile graced his chapped lips.

Code Lime had been the agreed code between JARVIS and him for anything the specific trigger placed on any and (nearly) all online copies of two certain videos from seven years prior, starring one Irina Boscec (ballerina with the Russian Ballet and top model for Dior NY Fall '02) and his august self in a certain state of decadent intimacy as JARVIS had once put quite gracefully. Tony was many thing but graceful with language, only during his work hours, so to put it simply, they'd made two hells of sex tapes (1h05mins each and counting) that Irina had released onto the web after he'd been seen flirting with her future replacement as the face of Dior. But that was all a distant (if slightly pleasant like only a quick rough tumble in bed could be) memory, he was a newly single man (on good terms for once, at least that was something, right?), still a billionaire but now with added _zing_ and lightshow. And the Avengers had all moved into the Avengers Tower formerly known as "Stark Tower" and were given a common floor as well as personal quarter at different levels. Tony put a quick command into his StarkPad and pinged the signal of Code Lime (or Sex Tape Viewing Alert, as he preferred to call it – STVA for short) as coming from Barton's floor and snorted in amusement. After the afternoon full of innuendo earlier, it was a given that the man was going back to watch the video again (video he'd seemed oddly familiar with when he thought about it).

Chuckling to himself, Iron Man walked swiftly to the elevator and pressed the button to get him to Barton's floor, ready to surprise the man and get him to blush at least a little (it had been his privileged and favorite game to play with the others, so far he'd made Thor full-body blush only once, Barton twice, Popsicle five times and Bruce once as well (he wasn't even _touching_ Romanova with a ten foot pole and a country between the two of them).

He skipped gaily into the room the signal was coming from only to stop cold when instead of a short archer, he stared at the back of a certain tall blond soldier. A tall blond soldier who seemed engrossed in the video. A tall blond soldier whose hands were clenched on his thighs just millimeters away from a straining erection. Tony's eyes widened and he felt the lust rise in him but he squashed it viciously and cleared his throat, enjoying guiltily when it made Steve freaking Rogers startle like a kid with his hand stuck in a cookie jar and twist around while trying to bend forward to hide his body's reaction, even as strings of swear words and moans and sounds flesh slapping again flesh filtered unstopped from the desktop screen.

"Stark I…." Steve tried to speak but came out more like a squeak than anything (which shouldn't be this cute with how deep his voice was Damnit)

"Okay, right, yeah,… right… I'm usually better at this but it seems my brain is taking a vacation." Tony said, walking slowly and carefully toward the other man. "But if you want you can just say no and I'll go back to my lab and we can both pretend it never happened and we'll still be sort of friend, super-allies in the morning."

"Tony, what…" Captain America started asking as the man came up to his level before dropping to his knees, reaching for Steve's straining jeans.

"I thought you didn't like how _slow_ things could get with a computer, Steve." Stark mentioned, with the start of a grin. "Don't you like me in this light too though?"

His question barely posed, his mouth was shut by a certain captain as he bent in two, crushing their lips together in an clash of teeth and tongues. The video of Irene and Stark continued on, put on mute by a certain helpful AI has the two men took care of more pressing matters.

- Fin


End file.
